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A few weeks ago I got in to our empty lift, and as the doors closed I realised that someone had left one in there.
Of course when the doors next open, my eyes streaming, there is an attractive woman waiting to go in.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Is that the tale you told her?
---------------------------------
I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
English League Tables - Live
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I realised straight away whatever I said or did would make me look guilty.
So I killed her and threw her body down the lift shaft.
Why do you think I am so nervous about it being replaced now.
Some of those lines may not be true.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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What's wrong with a simple 'who wants to pull my finger?'
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Sounds like the lift elevator lift in the Ministry of Magic in the Harry Potter books.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Someone mentioned about the Harry Potter connection to me today. I'm not sure, but I think I first heard that line from a George Carlin routine back when he used to do stand-up on TV in the '70s.
Chris Meech
I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar]
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]
posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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Rowling may be a George Carlin fan; you never know.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Or the great glass evelator[^]...
(predates Rowling by a tad)
Iain.
I am one of "those foreigners coming over here and stealing our jobs". Yay me!
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I liked the time I went to get in the elevator (lift) on the ground floor of our building (which is bottom-most floor in our building), and the lady in the elevator looked at me and asked, "Going up?" 
WE ARE DYSLEXIC OF BORG. Refutance is systile. Your a$$ will be laminated.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: People who know binary and people who don't.
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People want instant acknowledgement. How do you know the button isn't broken (I mean before you smashed it)?
m.bergman
For Bruce Schneier, quanta only have one state : afraid.
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. -- Voltaire
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. -- Steve Landesberg
I am not a chatbot.
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Mark Nischalke wrote: Anal, don't believe the lift knows what to do, or just like to be in control?
Wow Mark, save these questions for the 3rd date, at least.
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. "
— Hunter S. Thompson
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They just have hooked a script to the positional center that fires when entering an elevator. It continuously fires "Elevator! Elevator! events to the cortex until the events gets confirmed with an "yes, I did."
The location awareness module of course doesn't have access to visual sensors or cortex processing. That would be bad design. Also, it allows the cortex to provide a polymorphic implementation, such as pressing a button, telling the lift boy, or waving their ID sardella to the watcher tentacle.
Face it: when Cthulu overtakes, they are much better prepared than you.
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They're the same kind of people who turn up the thermostat because they're cold figuring that it'll get warm faster. 
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun
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Some elevators, and they're quite rare, if you push the close or floor button you want, the doors do actually close. So I assume these people are in a hurry to go somewhere. The majority of the time though, elevators open and close at their leisure.
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Better than someone who pushes ALL the buttons so it stops on ALL of the floors.
Dave.
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You're even more boring than I first thought, according to this research[^]
Is this why some people who appear intelligent at first really aren't? It's all in your head. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until they speak.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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ChrisElston wrote: appear bright until they speak
Sadly, it’s a good bet that just about everyone can think of someone who fits that statement.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Sorry. Were you saying something?
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: Sorry. Were you saying something?
Funny you should say that, I heard "Soz. wor theur sayin summa'? " 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Far too sober for me.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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![Beer | [beer]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/beer.gif)
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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The Mariana Trench : Torygraph[^] 35,756 feet below sea level, a mile deeper than Everest is above the sea.
7 tons per square inch! 
I know he's not the first to get there, but the last lot stirred up so much silt they couldn't see anything before they had to leave...
[edit]Typo: 'e' removed - OriginalGriff[/edit]
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
modified 26-Mar-12 9:05am.
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I heard a story that when the Trieste got to the bottom and turned on the lights the first thing they saw was a Coke bottle.
I don't know if it is true, but I find it both easy to believe, and rather sad.
---------------------------------
I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
English League Tables - Live
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I know that they knew what the time was:
Two years later, in 1960, Jacques Piccard and Navy Lieutenant Donald Walsh descended in the Trieste to the deepest known point on Earth - the Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench in the Pacific Ocean. The two men made the deepest dive in history: 10,915 meters (35,810 ft), again with a "Deep Sea Special" fixed to the outside of the bathyscaph. The watch hold up to a pressure of 1,150 atm or 1,150 kgs per cm2. The following day Piccard sent another telegram to Rolex in Geneva saying "Am happy to confirm that even at 11,000 meters your watch is as precise as on the surface. Best regards, Jacques Piccard".
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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